Bad Receptionists: Trick or Treat?

Halloween is upon us, and you know what that means – masterfully carved pumpkins, pillow cases filled with sugary loot, creepy costumes, the night of the living dead, and the day of…the horrible receptionist. What’s more terrifying than not having a live person answering your phone when you need one? Having an un-dead receptionist who may murder you.

Hilariously depicted, manning your front desk, and sure to create a spooktacular experience on every call… SAS presents, “Bad Receptionists: Trick or Treat?”

From Dracula to Frankenstein, and every frightening and funny character in between, take a listen to our Halloween Hotline horrors. Guaranteed to give you a good laugh, it’s the very best of All Hallows’ Eve from the very best in small business answering services!

#1. The Sleep Clinic Hotline

 

Receptionist: Freddy Kreuger

Answering for: 9-10 Never Sleep Again

Greeting: “You have reached 9-10 Never Sleep Again sleep clinic hotline. This is Freddy speaking. Can I transform your nightmares today?”

 

#2. The Candy Store

 

Receptionist: Michael Myers

Answering for: Lampkin Lane Candy Store

Greeting: “Thank you for calling Lampkin Lane Candy Store. Are you looking for a sweet Halloween fix?”

 

#3. The Hockey Supplies Store

 

Receptionist: Jason Voorhees

Answering for: Crystal Lake Hockey Supplies

Greeting: “Thanks for calling Crystal Lake Hockey Supplies! What can we get you checked out with today?”

 

#4. The Wedding RSVP Hotline

 

Receptionist: Chucky

Answering for: Wedding RSVP Hotline

Greeting: “Hi, I’m Chucky, wanna play? You’ve reached the Wedding RSVP Hotline. Are you a guest of the bride or the groom?

 

#5. The Party Planning Hotline

 

Receptionist: Pennywise

Answering for: Party Planning Hotline

Greeting: “This is Pennywise, the dancing clown. You’ve reached the Party Planning Hotline. Would you like to place a balloon order today? They all float down here.”

 

#6. The Holiday Character Hotline

 

Receptionist: Jack Skellington

Answering for: Rent-a-Claus

Greeting: “Jack speaking, are you calling to book a Sandy Claus for your upcoming holiday party?”

 

#7. The Thanksgiving Hotline

 

Receptionist: Scream

Answering for: Turkey Carving Infomercial

Greeting: “Have a screaming good time this Thanksgiving with the best turkey on the block. Now, let’s teach you how to gut it like a fish.”

 

#8. The Dog Food Recall Hotline

 

Receptionist: Werewolf

Answering for: Wolves Are Aware Dog Food Poison Control

Greeting: “Thank you for calling Wolves Are Aware Dog Food Poison Control line. Hoooowwwl can I help you today?”

 

#9. The Hardware Store

 

Receptionist: Frankenstein

Answering for: Nuts N’ Bolts Hardware

Greeting: “Thank you for calling Nuts N’ Bolts Hardware. What can we scrap together for you today?”

 

#10. The Blood Bank

 

Receptionist: Dracula

Answering for: Once Bitten, Twice Shy Blood Bank

Greeting: “Fang you for calling Once Bitten, Twice Shy Blood Bank. Are you calling to provide a transfusion today?”

 

#11. The Home Inspection Hotline

 

Receptionist: Ghost

Answering for: Specter Home Inspections

Greeting: “Hello, this is Casper. It’s a bootiful day at Specter Home Inspections. Are you experiencing a class 4 vapor?”

 

#12. The Funeral Home Hotline

 

Receptionist: Zombie

Answering for: We’re so Glad You’re Undead Funeral Home

Greeting: “Thank you for choosing ‘We’re so Glad You’re Undead’ Funeral Home, where we specialize in apocalyptic services. Are you calling about our ad in Zombie Daily?”

 

#13. The Cleaning Hotline

 

Receptionist: Witch

Answering for: Double Double Toil and Bubble Cleaning

Greeting:  *Ah hee hee hee* (cackle). “Double Double Toil and Bubble Cleaning hotline. What is your broom emergency?”

 

#14. The Fabric Store Hotline

 

Receptionist: Mummy

Answering for: Imhotep Fashions Garment

Greeting: “Welcome to Imhotep Fashions Garment hotline, where we specialize in gauze and linen remnants. How can we wrap you today?”

 

#15. The Hotel Reservation Line

 

Receptionist: Jack Torrance

Answering for: The Overlook Hotel

Greeting: “Hello and thank you for calling the Overlook Hotel’s reservation line, here’s Johnny! Would you like to book our presidential suite?”

 

#16. The Pumpkin Patch Hotline

 

Receptionist: Jack-O-Lantern

Answering for: Pumpkin Patch Almanac

Greeting: “This is Jack-O-Lantern with the Pumpkin Patch Almanac. Can we provide you with growth and harvesting estimates today?”

 

#17. The Boat Rental Hotline

 

Receptionist: Pirate

Answering for: Scalawag Boat Rentals

Greeting: “Well, shiver me timbers, it’s another call! You’ve reached Scalawag Boat Rentals. Argh you calling about our wooden plank special?”

 

#18. The Family Counseling Hotline

 

Receptionist: Uncle Fester

Answering for: Addams Family Counseling Services

Greeting: “Thank you for calling. You have reached Addams Family Counseling Services, where ‘we gladly feast on those who would subdue us.’ How can we torture you today?”

 

#19. The Bike Store Hotline

 

Receptionist: Billy the Puppet

Answering for: Tricked Out Trikes

Greeting: “Welcome to Tricked Out Trikes. Wanna play a game?”

 

#20. The Pest Control Hotline

 

Receptionist: Betelgeuse (Beetlejuice)

Answering for: Deetz Family Pest Control

Greeting: “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! What pests are you looking to get rid of today?”