Halloween is upon us, and you know what that means – masterfully carved pumpkins, pillow cases filled with sugary loot, creepy costumes, the night of the living dead, and the day of…the horrible receptionist. What’s more terrifying than not having a live person answering your phone when you need one? Having an un-dead receptionist who may murder you.
Hilariously depicted, manning your front desk, and sure to create a spooktacular experience on every call… SAS presents, “Bad Receptionists: Trick or Treat?”
From Dracula to Frankenstein, and every frightening and funny character in between, take a listen to our Halloween Hotline horrors. Guaranteed to give you a good laugh, it’s the very best of All Hallows’ Eve from the very best in small business answering services!
#1. The Sleep Clinic Hotline
Receptionist: Freddy Kreuger
Answering for: 9-10 Never Sleep Again
Greeting: “You have reached 9-10 Never Sleep Again sleep clinic hotline. This is Freddy speaking. Can I transform your nightmares today?”
#2. The Candy Store
Receptionist: Michael Myers
Answering for: Lampkin Lane Candy Store
Greeting: “Thank you for calling Lampkin Lane Candy Store. Are you looking for a sweet Halloween fix?”
#3. The Hockey Supplies Store
Receptionist: Jason Voorhees
Answering for: Crystal Lake Hockey Supplies
Greeting: “Thanks for calling Crystal Lake Hockey Supplies! What can we get you checked out with today?”
#4. The Wedding RSVP Hotline
Receptionist: Chucky
Answering for: Wedding RSVP Hotline
Greeting: “Hi, I’m Chucky, wanna play? You’ve reached the Wedding RSVP Hotline. Are you a guest of the bride or the groom?
#5. The Party Planning Hotline
Receptionist: Pennywise
Answering for: Party Planning Hotline
Greeting: “This is Pennywise, the dancing clown. You’ve reached the Party Planning Hotline. Would you like to place a balloon order today? They all float down here.”
#6. The Holiday Character Hotline
Receptionist: Jack Skellington
Answering for: Rent-a-Claus
Greeting: “Jack speaking, are you calling to book a Sandy Claus for your upcoming holiday party?”
#7. The Thanksgiving Hotline
Receptionist: Scream
Answering for: Turkey Carving Infomercial
Greeting: “Have a screaming good time this Thanksgiving with the best turkey on the block. Now, let’s teach you how to gut it like a fish.”
#8. The Dog Food Recall Hotline
Receptionist: Werewolf
Answering for: Wolves Are Aware Dog Food Poison Control
Greeting: “Thank you for calling Wolves Are Aware Dog Food Poison Control line. Hoooowwwl can I help you today?”
#9. The Hardware Store
Receptionist: Frankenstein
Answering for: Nuts N’ Bolts Hardware
Greeting: “Thank you for calling Nuts N’ Bolts Hardware. What can we scrap together for you today?”
#10. The Blood Bank
Receptionist: Dracula
Answering for: Once Bitten, Twice Shy Blood Bank
Greeting: “Fang you for calling Once Bitten, Twice Shy Blood Bank. Are you calling to provide a transfusion today?”
#11. The Home Inspection Hotline
Receptionist: Ghost
Answering for: Specter Home Inspections
Greeting: “Hello, this is Casper. It’s a bootiful day at Specter Home Inspections. Are you experiencing a class 4 vapor?”
#12. The Funeral Home Hotline
Receptionist: Zombie
Answering for: We’re so Glad You’re Undead Funeral Home
Greeting: “Thank you for choosing ‘We’re so Glad You’re Undead’ Funeral Home, where we specialize in apocalyptic services. Are you calling about our ad in Zombie Daily?”
#13. The Cleaning Hotline
Receptionist: Witch
Answering for: Double Double Toil and Bubble Cleaning
Greeting: *Ah hee hee hee* (cackle). “Double Double Toil and Bubble Cleaning hotline. What is your broom emergency?”
#14. The Fabric Store Hotline
Receptionist: Mummy
Answering for: Imhotep Fashions Garment
Greeting: “Welcome to Imhotep Fashions Garment hotline, where we specialize in gauze and linen remnants. How can we wrap you today?”
#15. The Hotel Reservation Line
Receptionist: Jack Torrance
Answering for: The Overlook Hotel
Greeting: “Hello and thank you for calling the Overlook Hotel’s reservation line, here’s Johnny! Would you like to book our presidential suite?”
#16. The Pumpkin Patch Hotline
Receptionist: Jack-O-Lantern
Answering for: Pumpkin Patch Almanac
Greeting: “This is Jack-O-Lantern with the Pumpkin Patch Almanac. Can we provide you with growth and harvesting estimates today?”
#17. The Boat Rental Hotline
Receptionist: Pirate
Answering for: Scalawag Boat Rentals
Greeting: “Well, shiver me timbers, it’s another call! You’ve reached Scalawag Boat Rentals. Argh you calling about our wooden plank special?”
#18. The Family Counseling Hotline
Receptionist: Uncle Fester
Answering for: Addams Family Counseling Services
Greeting: “Thank you for calling. You have reached Addams Family Counseling Services, where ‘we gladly feast on those who would subdue us.’ How can we torture you today?”
#19. The Bike Store Hotline
Receptionist: Billy the Puppet
Answering for: Tricked Out Trikes
Greeting: “Welcome to Tricked Out Trikes. Wanna play a game?”
#20. The Pest Control Hotline
Receptionist: Betelgeuse (Beetlejuice)
Answering for: Deetz Family Pest Control
Greeting: “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! What pests are you looking to get rid of today?”